Sunday, May 18, 2008

well i thought it was funny...

things are getting better around here as it seems i now have enough spare time in the day to squander surfing the internet. forget about the laundry, forget about shaving the armpits, forget about zapping the feet with tinactin, forget about the squalling child too - the black hole of the internet beckons. this image is from i suppose i found it poignant because, due to the breeding experiment, i can now appreciate the juxtaposition of dairy and bras with nary a trace of irony. not that i am still a human dairy cow, no, that ended long ago, much to the chagrin of my balloon-boob-luvin' mate, but the memory is still quite fresh.

much to my surprise, the whole breastfeeding experiment has very much changed my relationship with the, um, the mass of fat encased glands known as boobs. not necessarily for the better. some of you may want to stop reading here. if you're still with me, i have two words for you: national geographic. yep. at first, after weaning, i thought that they just seemed oh-so-little because of the comparison to their former bay watch glory. but after much scrutiny i realized that yes, they were different. i figured they'd just kinda shrunk in the wash. "okay" i though to myself, "i can live with that". but no. after more scrutiny, i realized that no amount of wash'n'dry could do that. nope. it was as if they were hung out to dry. not smaller. longer. this might be a little tougher to swallow.

i can now can be found on page 37 of national geographic, august edition 1957. and that's just the upstairs. i'll save the downstairs for another day.

on a cheerier note, the worm no longer stinks like rotten cheese, can self-propel on two hooves, and has a surprisingly sunny and outgoing character. she resembles neither of her alleged parents either in face or disposition. maybe that day in the hospital the gods smiled on me and sent me home with the wrong one. maybe somewhere out there skulks a cranky, cross-eyed, sullen, introverted, black-clad toddler, ruining someone else's life.

and since this is a food blog, here is a token food shot, in honor of asparagus season. paper bag steamed asparagus, compliments of tyler florence. as soon as i heard about it, i knew i had to give it a shot, for the novelty in nothing else. it wasn't until after i'd finished eating all the spears that i bothered wondering where that paper bag had been before it wrapped itself around my food. i envisioned a bum tucking it inside his tatty winter coat along with a few old newspapers to keep out the biting chill of winter before being returned to the store by an eco-warrior for re-use. i imagined it full of tb germs. in general, i imagine a lot of things, most of which are either ridiculous or impossible or both, so pay me no heed. the dish turned out fine. aside from overcooking, it's hard to ruin asparagus.

i'm feeling rather lazy today so if you are interested in trying out this method of questionable cleanliness, head on over to foodtv here.
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