Thursday, October 19, 2006

margarine and toasted white bread



bunnyfoot has been silent for quite some time now. why, you might wonder? what is to blame for this sloth and inactivity? and has it been coupled with a disregard for personal hygine?

yes. and white bread. i blame it all on white bread. toasted. slathered with earth-balance margarine. creepy, eh? i disappeared in order to protect you all. i did it for your own good. i mean, who really wants to see post after post after post of toasted white bread? granted you can pretty it up by cutting it into cute little shapes. maybe you could even supplement the margarine with a smear of homemade jam, but at the end of the day, it's just a big, bland, fluffy cracker, lacking in culinary, nutritional and asthetic appeal. you should note that my mainstay has not been of the crusty baguette type pictured above, but, oh wonders of wonder, um, the rather infamous wonder bread.

and why has bunnyfoot been gorging on this abomination? no, not poverty. nor has my kitchen burned down. and my teeth didn't fall out either. you see, in a somewhat ironic coincidence, bunnyfoot began working at a family planning agency, and managed to get herself knocked up at the same time. there must've been something in the water cooler...

and so, to make a short story long, for the past many months the, um, the fetus has been wanting to eat toasted white bread. slathered with margarine. and i, the toast munching host, began a new job. then we four (host, fetus, feline and male) moved out of our tiny 1 bedroom apartment into more spacious digs. but to be honest, mostly i've been freaking out, dreaming of cigarettes and booze, and, um, toasting bread.

but now that i'm settled into the job, moved into the new pad and more or less resigned to a cocktail free future (the DTs have almost worn off), you'll be hearing from me more often. and just in case you were worried, fret not, for i shan't become one of those maternally-demented, estrogen-driven cooing machines whipping out strips of sears portrait studio photos, reels of home videos, and streaming u-tube clips of pooh-stained diapers at the slightest provocation. i intend to remain the same cynical, bitter little melon that i've always been.

before i get back to posting about the subject at hand, here is a little scene from a recent trip up to the great, green pacific northwest. a sweet little family nibbling on plums and grapes in my pappy's front yard.


it was real cute until one of the neighbors' kids broke out the pellet gun. ah, the country life....

17 Comments:

Blogger cookiecrumb said...

Un-flapping believable!!
Congratulations. I'm amazed.
(Sorry if I'm eerily your first comment here, but I've got you on my RSS reader.)
Be well.
OMG.

2:56 PM  
Blogger holly_44109 said...

2 of my friends told me they are pregnant this past week. What joyful news!

11:34 AM  
Blogger madeinalaska said...

Very entertaining post..
Congrats..
W/ my first child I swear I could not get enough apples and peanut butter.. day and night I swear I had them on my night stand.. Just in case god forbid I would have to get up to eat!
The third child was taco bell plain ol bean burrito.. Don’t ask me why.. But, I NEEDED them.
Take care of yourself .. look forward to more funny post..
Julee

9:19 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

congrats! that is so great! when is your due date?

i also *needed* pb smoothered apples when i was preggo with my son. with my daughter, i swore i'd never, ever eat again .. barf...

5:45 AM  
Anonymous K.N. said...

good, i was beginning to think you had died.

4:15 PM  
Blogger Allanna said...

Congrads on your incubating! I'm glad that your absence is due to a happy reason. Phew!

What did I eat while incubating my twins? Quite a bit of Mexican food. And chocolate. The darker, the better. Those are what I remember eating the most, at least.

Have a good and safe pregnancy!

9:38 AM  
Blogger Carrie™ said...

Hey, don't worry about posting white bread and margarine. I induldge myself. It's one of my secret guilty pleasures. Toasted of course to make it a bit more classy.
What terrific news! Congratulations are in order. Funny you said something in the water cooler. In the past 2 years, 8 women at my chiropractor/massage therapy office have gotten pregnant, including my last chiro and my present one. I purposely never touch the stuff at that office.
"i intend to remain the same cynical, bitter little melon that i've always been." - Great! Wouldn't want it any other way!

I also love the deer photos. How sweet is the fawn?

3:10 AM  
Blogger rae said...

cookiecrumb: amazed....that makes two of us. i've never considered myself a "breeder" and figured those few remaining eggs of mine were fit only for congee (you know how they put those chinese "thousand year eggs" in the porridge...)

holly: like little dogs and adopting children from impoverished nations, i suppose it's gotten a bit trendy. maybe.

madeinalaska: taco bell bean burritos, hmmm, now there's a thought. although i'd feel a bit like a cannibal since i'm very much starting to resemble a burrito these days...

michelle: the "event" (they say you forget, yes?) is slated for early february. feel free to terroize me with delivery room carnage stories.

kn: dead? not quite yet.

allanna: incubating. i love that word!

carrie: sounds like there might be some pretty funky "adjusting" going on in your office.

11:41 AM  
Blogger farmgirl said...

Thank god the pregnancy hasn't killed your sense of humor. Congratulations to you!

(From someone who thinks there's absolutely nothing wrong with a diet of just toast. Now Wonder Bread on the other hand. . . : )

1:07 PM  
Blogger mipmup said...

congratulations!

10:44 AM  
Blogger Bryanna Clark Grogan said...

Congratulations, Rae, and enjoy your white bread and marge (it looks like good bread!). It's still comfort food to me sometimes, and I haven't been pregnant for 30 years!

2:06 PM  
Blogger SusanV said...

Congrats! All my fetus wanted was mashed potatoes and peas, so relax about the white bread--It could be worse!

8:10 PM  
Blogger KleoPatra said...

I love this post... I like a good bread 'n' "butter" (sub) myself. Often!

Congrats on the little future bunnyfoot!! Very cool.

Love the dear deer pix. Absolutely wonderful. Thanks for sharing...

11:37 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

i would never dream of telling you "horror stories"! i had midwife attended births.. one at the hospital, and one at home. my daughter's home birth is, i swear, the bestest day of my whole entire life. i was was soooo empowering.

whether you want home or hospital, midwifery care is the way to go! a doula is also very good, if you can afford it.

i also really recommend mothering's discussion boards, there is a whole forum for pregnancy and birth.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/

good luck with what ever choice you make!

11:05 AM  
Blogger sp said...

Congratulations. The magic of earth balance. I love the combo and when i need comfort food, it is one of my favorites to turn to.

4:50 PM  
Blogger Linda said...

if any photo could bring a bread and butter craving, it's this one. beautiful.

5:21 AM  
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