Monday, June 12, 2006

the dreaded loaf



uh oh, it's the dreaded loaf. that dense and tasteless symbol of seventies ascetic vegetarianism. that barely cohesive mound of mushy lentils and carrots masquerading as meatloaf. scarred by early encounters with these hippie loaves i've pretty much avoided the grain/nut/seed bread-shaped monstrosity, primarily due to an underlying fear that i might spontaneously sprout excessive facial hair, pervasive, plastic-melting b.o. and grow birkenstocks out of the soles of my dead-head tappin' bare feet. however, after some consideration and a thorough waxing, i realized that there is great potential in a loaf. why, one of my all-time favorite dishes, the almighty stuffing, and more recently, the very tasty vegan haggis are nothing more than un-shaped loaf fillings. that is how it dawned on me that loaves don't have to be bland. or mushy. or full of seeds, brambles and bragg's liquid aminos. they can be bursting with flavors and textures. they can be spicy. with nary a gum-stabbing twig in sight.

and so i stumbled up the magical loaf studio over at vegan lunchbox. based on the seventh-day adventists formula for creating loaves, you simply plug in you selections from a variety of items, hit "calculate" and voila, out pops your own personal loaf. no potty humour intended.

that is my little loaf pictured above. isn't it cute? and yes, that is a lentil you see poking its baby-pooh colored head out. despite my earlier slagging of the great and mighty lentil, i did choose to have him star in my loaf, along with damp-doggy smelling buckwheat. i omitted seeds and nuts and threw in some spicy cajun seasoning instead. the result? well, it was a loaf. it held together. it was kinda spicy. it was very earthy (a bit too earthy, actually). slathered with ketchup glaze on the top, it paired very nicely with mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli.

would i make this particular combination again? um, no. i felt that the buckwheat overpowered the other ingredients. i will, however, return to the loaf studio and try out some other combinations. loaves are fun. loaves can taste good. even if they may grow hair on your chest.

12 Comments:

Blogger Catherine said...

LOL!! Veggie loaves are a challenge - I've had some ghastly nut ones. Thanks for the link - I may try this (after the veggie haggis).

11:18 AM  
Blogger KleoPatra said...

Funny! This actually looks tasty though...

6:50 PM  
Blogger t. said...

nevertheless is looks super yummy! I agree with kleopatra completely!

9:49 AM  
Blogger Liz Woodbury said...

i wholeheartedly recommend plugging chickpeas, brown rice, mushrooms, flax meal, umm...veggie worcestershire sauce, tamari... into that loaf studio thing. yum, it comes out tasty!

12:44 PM  
Blogger andrea drugay said...

omg, this is hilarious! looks yummy to me, though :-)

2:15 PM  
Blogger Nic said...

I've been wondering about trying that loaf thing for a while now. I'm encouraged by your post, Rae. And it doesn't bad at all!

7:09 PM  
Blogger Dori said...

Great read for a good laugh. Nice try on the loaf!

12:20 AM  
Blogger cookiecrumb said...

I ate a veggie burger -- not unlike your loaf -- at, oh, remember The Good Earth? Heh. I commented that if they'd just stirred the ingredients in the burger mixture a little harder, they wouldn't have needed the bun. :)

8:41 AM  
Blogger MeloMeals said...

You could try plugging in White Beans, Millet, Fresh Herbs, Mushrooms and load it with italian spices, onions and garlic and make a nice, fresh tomato/basil sauce to go on top of it. I make a loaf similar to that... hmm.. I think I'll go plug some of those ingredients in. I think the lentil loaf is an acquired taste. None of my family is too thrilled when I make mine, even though I like it. They much prefer the lighter version..

12:01 PM  
Blogger rae said...

catherine: definitly try the haggis first. it tastes so good.
kleoptra: don't be fooled by appearances.
t: thanks!
lizzie lou: chickpeas, i like chickpeas...
spacegirl: yeah, it looks better than it tastes. unless you like the flavor of wet, matted dog...
nic: there are some excellent loaves out there. bryanna grogan has a wonderful "chicken florentine" one, now that i think of it, maybe i'll make that one next.
dori: try, try again...
cookiecrumb: ah yes, i remember the good earth back in the day...the loaf was very much something that you might have gotten there...
melody: white beans, now that does sound good!

8:33 AM  
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