the dreaded loaf

uh oh, it's the dreaded loaf. that dense and tasteless symbol of seventies ascetic vegetarianism. that barely cohesive mound of mushy lentils and carrots masquerading as meatloaf. scarred by early encounters with these hippie loaves i've pretty much avoided the grain/nut/seed bread-shaped monstrosity, primarily due to an underlying fear that i might spontaneously sprout excessive facial hair, pervasive, plastic-melting b.o. and grow birkenstocks out of the soles of my dead-head tappin' bare feet. however, after some consideration and a thorough waxing, i realized that there is great potential in a loaf. why, one of my all-time favorite dishes, the almighty stuffing, and more recently, the very tasty vegan haggis are nothing more than un-shaped loaf fillings. that is how it dawned on me that loaves don't have to be bland. or mushy. or full of seeds, brambles and bragg's liquid aminos. they can be bursting with flavors and textures. they can be spicy. with nary a gum-stabbing twig in sight.

and so i stumbled up the magical loaf studio over at vegan lunchbox. based on the seventh-day adventists formula for creating loaves, you simply plug in you selections from a variety of items, hit "calculate" and voila, out pops your own personal loaf. no potty humour intended.

that is my little loaf pictured above. isn't it cute? and yes, that is a lentil you see poking its baby-pooh colored head out. despite my earlier slagging of the great and mighty lentil, i did choose to have him star in my loaf, along with damp-doggy smelling buckwheat. i omitted seeds and nuts and threw in some spicy cajun seasoning instead. the result? well, it was a loaf. it held together. it was kinda spicy. it was very earthy (a bit too earthy, actually). slathered with ketchup glaze on the top, it paired very nicely with mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli.

would i make this particular combination again? um, no. i felt that the buckwheat overpowered the other ingredients. i will, however, return to the loaf studio and try out some other combinations. loaves are fun. loaves can taste good. even if they may grow hair on your chest.